Unsolicited Reviews

X-Men: The Last Stand (aka X3)

What a pity Bryan Singer left to do Superman Returns. If you’re a Supes fan it’s great news but it ain’t so good for the X-Men franchise.

OK look, this is a good action film and it’s worth a watch. Director Brett Ratner can do good action stuff and the fight scenes are great. And also, the CGI is fantastic and in keeping with super-hero and -villain stuff; witness the Golden Gate Bridge scene and tell me Magneto is not a complete and utter megalomaniac. Sheesh, hasn’t he heard of boats?

But Ratner doesn’t have Singer’s deft touch and sympathetic eye to character development and integrity. And the script is pure cliché. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…” (of course, they had to quote the whole thing in case American idiots didn’t get the reference); “God help us…” (when everything goes pear-shaped for the government); “What have I done?” (when Magneto looks back on the raging Dark Phoenix); “blah, blah, blah… we’re X-MEN” (Wolverine to a scared and under-prepared band about to take on Magneto and the world); really, it’s unsubtle and makes sure every line is UNDERLINED to the FULL so NO-ONE can MISS ANYTHING. Oh the poetry!! A mutant son saves his human father after the father tries to “cure” the son of his mutation!! My God!! How original!!

The Dark Phoenix arc (Jean Grey goes powerfully nuts) is ransacked and used as a framework for the story but doesn’t go anywhere and contains none of the depth of the graphic novels. And the main premise—a “cure” for mutants is found… in a mutant—is just an excuse for big action: mutant v. mutant… mutant v. humans… humans v. mutants… everyone v. everyone…

To be honest, I enjoyed this but it’s a poor follow-up to the first 2 X-Men movies. But a follow-up by anyone but Singer was always going to be a very hard act to follow.

Oh. And don’t forget to watch right to the end, after the credits, for a “surprising” twist.

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